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07-Apr-2017 11:14

Since I don’t have much in the way of a story, I thought I would just hit you with some stray observations from the experience.

—Set Decoration – The crew seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time dressing the set and making sure that every little thing looked perfect.

Veronica (aka Paige) emerged from a back room and greeted us excitedly.

In person, Veronica is beautiful, articulate, and her energy is contagious.

BUT – if I had to say the part that sucked the most, it’s that there’s no fast forward in real life. Kayden and Veronica were great, but even I found myself scrolling through Instagram around the twenty-four minute mark. It’s like having to watch a full two-hour episode of Celebrity Apprentice without DVR! —Kayden Kross – Kayden Kross, Veronica’s scene partner and industry legend, was also the director for the shoot. Watching her direct her own lesbian scene was pretty surreal, but I guess if you’re the one getting something shoved up your butt, you’re going to want to have some control over how it gets done.

—The Crew – While Derek and I kept exchanging “I can’t believe what we’re watching” glances, this was old hat for the crew members.

Part of being in a glamour industry such as dude blogging is that you get perks.

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To all the dudes out there who are in the same camp as my buddies (insanely jealous), I assure you, it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.We had no idea what we were walking into, and for a split second as we lingered outside, I said to myself, “how dumb am I that I really think am being invited to a porn shoot?I’m clearly about to get murdered.” But I felt weird suggesting to Derek that we turn back on account of my murderphobia, so we made the brave decision to enter this mansion of ill repute.Porn is something to be consumed privately; only the leering eyes of a confused pet there to shame you.

Much like football, which I maintain is more enjoyable when watched on TV, porn is best viewed at a distance.At one point they were even Windexing the glass in the background of one of the shots to make sure everything was spick and span. When two hot chicks are going at it, I’m pretty sure nobody is checking out the cleanliness of windows in the background.I imagined some guy jerking it, noticing a streak on a window in the background, and immediately losing his boner.But I’m sure there’s a lot of curiosity about my day, so allow me to provide some details.