The emphasis is on the prudential choice, selecting the right person who satisfies your desires.
But somehow as people pragmatically “select” each other, marriage as an institution has gone into crisis. Most children born to women under 30 are born outside of wedlock. Even those of us who have had humbling experiences in this realm can look at those who seem to have this lifelong thing figured out and see a different set of attitudes and presuppositions, which you might call a Regime of Covenants.
The people one sees in long, successful marriages have walked the stations of vulnerability.See, most of what I’d heard about singleness from the pulpit until then was that it was the time in life to prepare for marriage.If I was “still” single, it meant that a) God was still working on me, b) God was still working on my future husband, or c) a little of both.The good of the relationship itself comes first and the needs of the partner are second and the individual needs are third.